Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Randomize
