Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
