Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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