I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
pray to the hookup gods
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
