my room smells like sperm. sweet.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Randomize
