Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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