hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
