My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
