i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
