I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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