I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
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