my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
