I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
