hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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