so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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