then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We are two peas in an std pod
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
