i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize