so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
