Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He shit in the fireplace
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
