We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
