belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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