do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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