I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
