Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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