She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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