Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Success! We fucked roommates!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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