she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize