He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
