Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
