I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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