I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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