everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize