girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
