Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
