Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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