Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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