you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
