We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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