We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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