just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
