it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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