K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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