I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
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