College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
