i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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