dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
