I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
