my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
