Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
