Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize