am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
