My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
