Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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