i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she told me i tasted like america
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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