Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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