I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
