just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Your penis caused this!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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