I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
