i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
